Meeting Peri

The day started with another surprise .... as Olga and our driver picked us up, instead of the orphanage, we headed back to the Ministry of Education.   There our interpreter was waiting for me.  I knew nothing about this visit....  apparently, I was going to have to have a meeting with the same two women with whom I had my less than pleasant experience on Monday.  Fabulous.  This time, they didn't talk to me (oh wait, they didn't talk to me on Monday either) -- but they handed me a sheet of paper with Peri's picture, and all her information on it -- my interpreter translated it -- it had a lot of the same information I already knew.  The only new stuff was that she is of Kyrgyz ethnicity -- from both her mother and father's side.  That was interesting to me, b/c when I first started researching foreign adoptions, I picked Kyrgyzstan -- by the time I got to actually pursuing it, Kyrgyzstan closed down to foreign adoptions.  But I digress.  I signed some papers, and was handed another, that would allow me to visit the orphanage.
The orphanage is in the outskirts of town.  As we very slowly moved through Moscow traffic, we quickly realized that our apartment is in the "fancy" part of town.  The streets filled with Mercedes, Audis, BMWs and Lexus' quickly  gave way to a steady stream of old Russian cars -- mostly Ladas for my Hungarian readers.  The orphanage is in an old building, and looked a little dreary -- probably partly b/c of the slush and partly melting snow.  There are cute wooden animals in the back -- I am guessing when the weather is better, the kids play there.
Our first stop was the director's office -- a tiny little room, that barely fit a desk and a couch for visitors -- stacks and stacks of paper everywhere.  The director was a woman in her 60s -- she was very kind, and looked like an old school Russian physician (she is a medical Dr.).  We were supposed to talk through all the medical info, etc, but she told us that the kids were going to go down for their naps in an hour or so, so she suggested we start with meeting her.
We walked up to the third floor -- where there are two leather sofas in the hallway/landing area, and we were told to wait.  At the same time, and older lady came to visit a little girl. It turned out she was the grandmother, and she either couldn't afford to have the little girl at home with her, or she didn't have custody for some reason.  She told us the story several times, but of course I only understood every 20th word.  In any case, it broke my heart to see this lady, obviously poor, who comes to visit her granddaughter every day, but can't take her home b/c she can't afford it.....
And then, they brought Peri up the steps.  She looked around pretty curiously, but when the caretaker lady wanted to hand her over to me, she got really upset and started crying.  I felt so bad for her -- the caretaker lady kept saying "it's normal it's normal" in Russian, and Olga said to me :  "just take her".  So I did, and she was not happy, she cried, and reached out her little arms to the caretaker lady.  She quieted down, and snuggled and let me comfort her, but then she'd look up at me, with really curious little eyes, and immediately got upset again, almost as if she were saying:  " oh yes, you are the one that upset me in the first place".  Anyway, she was fine, if a little shy -- she was really interested in the books I brought her ,  and was quite content turning the pages, looking at everything very intently.  When the Russian grandmother came back with her granddaughter -- that really calmed Peri down.  We reasoned that hearing the familiar language was comforting to her, and she could just chill and look at those people, instead of us being in her face the whole time.
After about an hour and a half, they told us it was time to bring her downstairs, and hand her back over.  It was really hard to let her go, but it made it a little easier to see how happy she was to see the caretaker lady, and practically jumped in her arms.
Then we went back to talk to the medical director -- it turns out that she is retiring in a few weeks, and moving to Chicago, where her daughter and grandchildren live.  She seemed to be genuinely caring about the kids she was in charge of -- and seemed proud of the care they give those children.  She told me the same stuff about Peri's medical history that I pretty much knew, but honestly, after meeting her and interacting with her, I don't have a lot of gnawing doubts.  They also explained to me that a lot of Kyrgyz people  (and others from the former Soviet Republics) come to Moscow in search of work, away from their families.  I understand (from other sources) that Moscow officially has a population of 13 million, and there is another 5 million living here illegally  from the former Soviet Republics -- (kind of like Mexicans in America -- they helpfully explained) -- who get paid really low wages,, and she probably wouldn't have been able to raise a child. Kyrgyz are overwhelmingly Muslim, with large families, and strict laws, so it probably would have been very shameful for this young woman to return with a child out of wedlock.  Unfortunately, as they explained, under Russian law, they had to inform her family to see if anyone wanted to take custody of Peri, before she could become available for adoption.  So who knows what fate awaits this young woman, should she ever return to Kyrgyzstan.
In any case, we talked for a while -- and it was clear, that they were proud of how healthy this little girl is, and what good care they took of her.  In general, my impression was that the caretakers and anyone else we saw interacting with the children seemed to be very caring and affectionate with them.  The orphanage was a little run down, but spotless and clean.
I was also pleasantly surprised that I felt that everyone was very excited that Peri was going to (what I am sure they assumed would be) a good home.  One kind social worker lady even told me that Peri looked like me -- which is a bit of a stretch, considering her ethnicity.
So they asked me if I wanted to proceed with the adoption -- I signed the paperwork, and they immediately faxed it to the Ministry of Education -- meaning that no other family can adopt her between now and the the court deciding on the adoption. So now, back to the US on Saturday, and get started on another load of paperwork.


PS -- I realize that this entry lacks much emotion -- but that's by design.  I wanted to tell the story, and share the facts.  I want to share my more private feelings and thoughts with each of you personally.